De Vos: What’s for food tonight? | SkyHiNews.com
Jon de Vos
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De Vos: What’s for food tonight?

Jon DeVos

Dinner is always problematical in our house because the spouse and I differ on what constitutes "food". Let's listen in as our happy couple discusses possible dinner options:

"I've got a bunch of eggs. Maybe I should make us a quiche for dinner? There's a great recipe here in Bon Appetit," my wife said, "it calls for tons of gruyere cheese and 2 cups of fresh spinach. I'll bet I can get that much out of our garden already."

I thought about that for a moment before asking, "Did you know Wooly Muskrats are a delicacy in large parts of Asia? They use them a lot in casseroles and stir-fries."

There was a long pause as she stared at me over her magazine, "I was unaware of that. Why do you bring it up, are you moving there?"

"No, no, I was just musing on peculiar things that people eat."

"Quiche? Quiche isn't peculiar. Ask any French cook if it is."

"Uh-uh," I shook my head, "I'm good with quiche; it was the spinach part that got me. You know, don't you, that spinach thrives on cow poop?"

"Not this again, please? Why do you have to wreck a meal that doesn't exist yet?"

"I only bring it up," I said, "because it's strictly science that the more that cows poop on spinach, the bigger the harvest. I rest my case."

She buried her nose back into her recipes and snorted, "That's too ridiculous to comment on."

"What's wrong with Quiche Lorraine? You know, Swiss cheese, bacon and onion? I mean, 'Remember the Quiche Lorraine!' That was quite possibly the battle cry of the French Revolution! Why do you have to wreck everything by putting cow-poop weeds in it?"

"Weren't you moving to Asia? I'd hate for you to miss your paddleboat."

"Now you're just sounding bitter. I think deep down you're envious of my vegetable-free lifestyle. Mark my words, in just a couple of years, vegetables will be shunned like gluten."

"There's nothing wrong with gluten," she said, "That's just a fad. It's proven that people who eat gluten are healthier than those who don't."

"Oh sure, try selling that to 40 million anorexic moms."

She sighed, "Did you know that a cup of spinach has less than 30 calories? On the other hand, a cup of Swiss cheese has 750 calories."

"Yes!" I said, "Finally something we can agree on. I'm delighted! So, this means you're gonna bag the spinach idea then, huh?"