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Lisa Bonet ate no basil

Jon de Vos/Friday Report
Grand County, CO Colorado

A palindrome is a word exercise for disturbed individuals who construct tortured sentences that spell the same backwards and forwards. Possibly the most famous palindrome is, “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.” Disregard the punctuation and word spacings and it reads the same, back and forth.

“Madam, I’m Adam,” is straightforward and actually, straightbackward as well. Others can best charitably be described as enigmatic:

“A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again or a camel, a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal, Panama.”

While other long ones make perfect sense:

“Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned.”

If you shake a palindromer out of their trance, they will look a bit wild-eyed in your direction and ask, “Do geese see God?” or “Yo! Beg a clam in an animal cage, boy!”

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Some palindromes make vague sense like, “I roamed under rats as a starred, nude Maori.” or, “Straw? No, too stupid a fad; I put soot on warts.”

A good sensible one is, “Doc note: I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on Cod.”

Shorter ones can make perfect sense, “Dammit, I’m mad.”

How about: “Was it a rat I saw?” or, “A Toyota’s a Toyota,” or still another, “Niagara, O roar again.”

It may be awkward to drop them in a sentence, but just possibly there are Palindrome Bars where people break the ice like this, “Madam, I’m Adam.”

“Sir, I’m Iris,” she replies, and adds a comment on his musical taste, “Yawn. Madonna fan? No damn way!”

He hastens to assure her he would never, “Plan no damn Madonna LP!” and quickly moves to change the subject, asking her if she knew that, “Tarzan raised Desi Arnaz’ rat.”

He reveals a dark side and begins to assault passing cars, “Aim a Toyota tatami mat at a Toyota, Mia.”

She declines, telling him, “Sit on a potato pan, Otis.”

He talks about his hometown, “Tulsa night life: filth, gin, a slut.”

After several cocktails he suddenly shouts, “I, madam, I made radio! So I dared! Am I mad? Am I?”

She says to herself, “O Geronimo, no minor ego!” and loudly berates him for smoking, “Cigar? Toss it in a can, it is so tragic!”

By now it’s getting late and he begins to feel amorous, “Naomi, sex at noon taxes, I moan!”

Virtuously she responds, “Never even,” and talks of her proper upbringing, “Ma is a nun, as I am.”

Thwarted, he turns to drink, shouting, “Lager, sir, is regal!” but, not surprisingly after 12 regal lagers, “Poor Dan is in a droop.”

Eventually he recovers, only to groan again, “Naomi, I moan,” adding to himself, “Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas!” He cries to her, “O Stone, be not so!”

She finally consents, afterwards saying, “Eros, Sidney, my end is sore!” With a tear in her eye she turns to him and says, “Now, Ned, I am a maiden nun; Ned, I am a maiden won.”

(Thanks to the ocean of palindromes floating on the Internet.)

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