Teen Views:The Middle Park Enquirer
January 26, 2009
– At Obama’s Inauguration Gala, party-goers consumed over seven tons of filet mignon, shrimp cocktail, and Grey Poupon. All funded through taxes.
– It has been discovered that all the water used for bottled water was stolen from the polar bears.
– Former president George “Dubbya” Bush was seen pilfering exotic rugs from the White House. He allegedly plans to trade these rugs in Bollywood for sacred lamb burgers.
– MTV’s Spring Break ’09 Extravaganza will be held on the White House lawn this year. Real sun and sand will be transported from Cancun.
– Dick Cheney joined the National Rifle Association this weekend. The NRA will be going on a PETA-sponsored hunting retreat in the upcoming months. It is recommended that fellow NRA members do not startle Cheney when he is armed.
” Aschulee Thomas and Bradley Hilton