A day in the life of love
Fraser Valley, CO Colorado
That ooey, gooey Valentine’s stuff is over. Love was the intense emotion of the day.
But, just like in the aftermath of every holiday, how do we now get back to love-as-usual? After love scores big for Hallmark with another exuberant Feb. 14, what then does this emotion mean to us the other 364 days of the year?
Being in bed with every conceivable subject there is, love seems to have something to do with everything. From spiritual beliefs to marketing strategies, arts to pets, philanthropy to sexuality, love is at the top of the list of emotions next to fear, hate, and guilt. With this kind of company, love appears to be our favorite and, yet, we often are as confused and tortured by it as we are by the seemingly more sinister, emotions.
Coupled with endless spinoffs – object of love, in love, loving, lovely, lover, lovable, labor of love, loveless – love is a concept, an act, and a descriptor all rolled into one. Love can mean everything one day and then, seemingly, have no meaning at all the next.
Feeling both absolute and vague about the significance of love, we most often adopt half-conceived assumptions and may never attempt to definitively understand love, our love, at all.
For this reason, I recommend we do a love review in small steps with big questions. Our private answers are all that matter. We must recognize our distinctive expectations of love to understand how we react to love.
The “love potion” we then concoct with our unique set of perceptions is what makes our interaction with love, and ultimately life, so individual. We can begin by asking: Which comes first, the love you make or the love you take?
Is love everywhere or nowhere? Accordingly, do we expect to always be in love? Is it required that someone reciprocates our love? Does love just happen or must we create it? Can love be destroyed or is it everlasting?
What portion of 100 percent do we think love can be? Do we feel love every second, daily, or just once in a lifetime? Can we withhold love, hide it or, worse yet, lose it all together?
What are the questions we can ask ourselves to thoroughly explore our private definitions of love? Is love a matter of the heart or a concept in our head? Do we reason that love is the basis of our belief system or non-consequential? Should love be easy or do we expect to labor at it? Which is more powerful, to be in love or to be loving?
Think: What is true love according to me (this means you!) – the only expert that counts? Ask your own love questions. Our feelings and thoughts are absolutely the only way we know love. So, what are we thinking, knowing, sensing when we act with love, when we feel love, when we declare love? How would you describe this thing called love?
Why would a life coach be asking so many questions about love? It has been my observation that our relationship with love, particularly self-love, is absolutely connected to our ability to move forward and maximize our life purpose. We all know what happens to our energy when we do not “feel the love,” which brings to mind, could love be pure energy?
Once we have done a love review and formulated our personal love definition, consider too, which of our actions mimic our attitudes and habits of love? The consideration of these love questions may invigorate us to create the changes we desire. Discover our unique love and we may very well clarify our life goals.
And while we are doing our love assessment we can also consider: Where’s the love, if at all, in our much talked about sense of community? Are we locals in love with the tourist dollar, or loving toward our environment, or just down-to-earth lovable mountain characters? Personally, I think we are quite lovely, as a group goes, extending ourselves to each other beyond even our own expectations. Which brings me to a final question: Is love blind?
– Marianne Klancke is a certified professional coach and group development facilitator. What are your coaching questions or communication concerns? She welcomes any comments at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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