De Vos: ‘Them thar hills’
It’s getting tougher and tougher to make a fortune these days, but if you have a small one, this column may bootstrap you into the big time! And it’s so unbelievably simple you’ll want to jump on it before someone else does. You just have to go pick it up, but you have to know where. Oh, and you’ll need a truck and a long weekend along with substantial financial reserves. More about this last detail later.
Just waiting for anyone; it could be you, there lies an estimated 400 million dollars’ worth of gold bars to be had in the heart of the San Juan Mountains near Wolf Creek Pass, 100 miles east and a little north of Durango. There’s three hidden caches of gold in them thar’ hills waiting for the first person to come up with a good map.
Sometime around 1780, a Frenchman named Remy Ledoux was in a bar, buying drinks for a bunch of Spanish trappers who’d foolishly flashed some impressive gold nuggets. They let slip that they had stumbled across a rich vein of gold ore while trapping beaver in Colorado’s San Juan Mountains. Braced with sufficient moonshine, the naive trappers told their new-found friend exactly where to find it, even drawing a map to prove their words.
The Spaniards were quickly dispatched. Dispatched, in frontier parlance, means they were shot, stabbed, beheaded, or otherwise . . . you know, dispatched. Ledoux hired 40 men and set out for Colorado, following the Arkansas River to Pueblo then on to the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. Not far from Wolf Creek Pass they camped at what would become known as Treasure Mountain. They found gold beyond their dreams.
The Frenchmen stayed and worked their mine for more than a year, melting the ore into ingots and stashing them in three well-hidden caches. They spent the winter in nearby Taos, New Mexico, planning their new lives among the glitterati of New Orleans society. That final spring, as they were heading back to camp, fate was unkind to them and they were all dispatched. Those who didn’t die of scurvy got dispatched by a bunch of irate Arapahos. All of them, that is, except one.
Remy Ledoux arrived back in New Orleans empty-handed but for delirious tales of his sumptuous treasure. They scoffed at him but then Remy was summarily dispatched by natural causes and in his effects, a grandson found poorly drawn copies of grandpa’s maps. He quickly mounted a Colorado expedition in a fruitless attempt to unearth the treasure. There was, indeed, a second expedition which proved that some things aren’t worth repeating as the grandson got dispatched when his horse floundered in the San Juan River.
On a recent trip to Durango, I spent quite a bit of time searching old records and manuscripts and hidden behind the flyleaf of an old, neglected French diary, I found Remy Ledoux’s original, detailed map to the treasure.
With my disciplined writing schedule, I simply don’t have the time or a pickup truck. So, today only, in a one-time offering, this fabulous treasure can be yours. Simply send me certified funds in the amount $25 million and I will send you Ledoux’s treasure map, your guide to an immense fortune.
Do not delay, act now! Send large, unmarked bills only, please.
Jon de Vos is a regular columnist for Sky-Hi News. You can reach him through the editor at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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