Friday Report: The spouse that roared

Jon DeVos
Friday Report
Jon DeVos
Staff Photo |

I’ve wondered sometimes whether the phrase “top of their lungs” was referring to the register a person was able to reach, or the sheer volume to emerge from their mouth, but I think anyone would agree that’s the noise my wife was upstairs making.

The tone indicated that some urgency was called for, but the sheer volume made me clap my hands over my ears to protect them. It was like that screaming Chinese lady in the Kung Fu movies. At the tail end I caught a few words that sounded like, “lots and lots of paper towels.”

Let me back up several years when the Granby Shelter called and said they had a basset hound, and were we interested? Having had several bassets in our past, we naturally cursed and slammed down the phone. They must’ve called from the end of the drive because it wasn’t two minutes later a smiling animal control officer was tapping on the window and shining a flashlight on a particularly handsome brute. She had long ears that touched the ground and big, soft brown eyes that stared straight into the refrigerator of two born-a-minute suckers.

The officer mentioned her not being good on a leash and mumbled something about the “shelter being closed for a while, uh, yeah, that’s right, actually about a year or two, but if there’s the slightest problem, bring her back, you know, after that.” In a big hurry to leave, she shouted over her shoulder, “don’t forget that leash thing,” and other stuff that got lost in her squealing tires. And, in fairness, what she said that fateful day was quite true. What we discovered on our own was that the dog was absolutely horrible off a leash and named her Freeta Goodhome.

Now let’s back up to just seconds before the “top-of-their-lungs” debacle started and move upstairs. “Oh, Freeta,” my wife is saying in soft, dulcet tones, “are you a good girl? Look at you, chewing on your toy! You big silly, show me your toy. Good girl. Show me your toy, hey, what toy is tha . . . A MOUSE!OMYGODGETUPHEREYOURDOGISCHEWINGONAMOUSEGETAPLASTICBAGANDGLOVESANDLOTSANDLOTSOFPAPERTOWELS!!!”

If animal control ever taps on your window with a basset hound, my advice? Close the drapes quick. Let’s switch gears.

It’s hard asking people to vote when considering that it was voting that got us the politicians we have today.

Nonetheless, at least one measure in the ballot you will soon receive in the mail is too important for you even to consider not voting. I am simply begging anyone within the reach of this paper to consider that the library funding is a vote for yourself, your family and the entire Grand County community. It’s the library, particularly in our mountain communities, that bring us together while expanding our horizons beyond imagination.

The libraries and the district are doing their part; they’ve struggled with limited funds for years now to meet the challenge of a rapidly evolving science. They cannot continue to do so without our support for the modest increase they propose.

Don’t hesitate when that ballot comes. Open it and vote for the library. This really is a vote by us and for us.

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