MPHS Open Book Advice Column: Dear Aschulee |

MPHS Open Book Advice Column: Dear Aschulee

Dear Aschulee,

How do I know what kind of person I am?

-Marjorine Buttersworth

Here’s what you need to do Marjorine:

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Down a bottle of laudanum and take a trip to the hills of France. There you will meet Paulie, the bristly porcupine, and he will take you to the tree of tranquility; there you will delve deep into your psyche. It will be painful and you may lose control of your bowels. This process of self-discovery will take roughly 6 days. For that day forward, you will know who you are and who you ought to be.

-With love,


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