Jon De Vos – The end is in sight |

Jon De Vos – The end is in sight

Jon De Vos / The Friday Report
Winter Park, Colorado

What, I said to myself, would help us look beyond this current economic crisis? What will pull us out of the doldrums the nation is wallowing in? What do we need to divert us from the stock market, bad mortgages and layoffs and bring some joy back into our lives?

Then it came to me, sure, what we need is a good End of the World. Call it Armageddon, Doomsday, the Apocalypse, call it what you will, according to some, that day is just around the corner on Dec. 12, 2012. So if you’re unemployed and miserable, perhaps there’s some comfort in knowing that your 401K will have just the same value as Donald Trump’s after the world blows up. Plus, think of all the money you’ll save not buying birthday presents.

But, maybe it won’t blow up. There’s lots of different ways the world could end. Our continued reliance upon fossil fuels could slowly warm our planet until we bake like pigs in a blanket. We could get abruptly slapped out of existence by a bull’s-eye comet. We might all succumb to a new strain of flu like swine in a blanket.

The world could go tipsy with a polar shift where north becomes south, minus becomes plus, and chance-of-survival becomes zero. Maybe the tectonic plates that cover the surface of the earth will start popping loose like locker room tile while civilization gets rubbed out by the Mother of All Earthquakes. What about a big volcano? No, no, a really big volcano that makes Vesuvius look like a molehill. How about a couple centuries of endless tornados?

Now, we haven’t even mentioned the list of nations with nuclear weapons. Some of them may only be suspected, but still, it’s a lengthy list. Suppose Myanmar has a falling out with North Korea that brings in Iran, Israel, Syria, Pakistan, India, China, Russia, France, England and the U.S. Maybe it will blow up after all.

If Hollywood has its way, the world will end, not in fire or ice, but in a huge blockbuster of a movie that preys upon the entire panoply of our paranoid fantasies – the basis of the much-hyped December release of Roland Emmerich’s new film, “2012.” The film stars John Cusack, Amanda Peet, and Woody Harrelson and deals with that old cliche: cosmic alignment. Totally unaware, we were until Manhattan blew up in a fiery cataclysm caused by a spontaneous combustion of Donald Trump’s hair gel.

Loads of bad things are supposed to happen on Dec., 21, 2012 or 12/21/12. That’s the date, according to some, that our solar system enters the “Dark Rift,” that dark void dividing the Milky Way. If you have a navigation system, it’s located directly between the constellations of Scorpio and Sagittarius.

That very day, we also cross the Galactic Equator, an event that only happens every 26,000 years. We would probably survive even all this, except somebody scheduled a physical pole shift for later that day. Incidentally, a physical pole shift, some argue, is the exact same event that destroyed Atlantis 13,000 years ago. Furthermore, in the Mother of all Coincidences, that’s the exact day NASA says the Sun plans to reverse its magnetic poles.

Then, there’s Saint Malachy, a Medieval monk who prophesied the end of the world would occur during the reign of the 112th Pope. The current Pope is Benedict XVI, number 111. All reasons to be very nervous, but I’ve saved the most chilling fact for last: There are exactly 2012 days between the June 20, 2007, summer solstice and the Dec. 21, 2012, winter solstice.

If that doesn’t convince you to run right out and buy a casket, I don’t know what will.