Teen Views: Aschulee’s Advice | SkyHiNews.com

Teen Views: Aschulee’s Advice

Dear Aschulee,

What is my purpose in life?

Yours always,

Sharifa O’Hoolihan

Such an insightful lass you are, Sharifa. Being the compassionate and insightful person I am, I’ll go ahead and help you with your plight.

In short, we’re meat puppets. Some are here to eat McDonald’s and wear Adidas. Others to worry flippantly about hair care products and calorie intake. But the people like you, the ones who question, haven’t discovered a purpose.

My advice: You need to go to Sea World. It builds character and does wonders for identity crises. Of course you always run the risk of Shamu splashing you with his tail, and then you’ll realize everything you ever relied on in life is inconsequential.

Good luck my dear Sharifa, and hasten back. Too much Sea World withers the soul.


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