Teen Views: Robotic yarmulke | SkyHiNews.com

Teen Views: Robotic yarmulke

David Diamond
MPHS senior
Grand County, Colorado

Descending from the sky like a hawk hunting its prey, the small hat landed on top of the man’s glistening bald head.

Sammy “Hey, I’m” Kosher had arrived on the scene. Propped on the smooth surface of the head, an arm appeared from under Sammy, the silver cover shining in the fluorescent lighting of the synagogue. Another arm soon was visible, protruding in an almost awkward way. Rounding out the body were two stubby legs, barely discernible because of his round body.

The robotic yarmulke reported for duty and immediately a mission was given to him. With a gleeful look upon his face, Sammy slid off the head, and landed on the table. Performing a quick dance that made no sense whatsoever, the yarmulke proceeded to light a match, ignite the middle candle of the menorah, and begin lighting each candle one by one. This was very difficult for him, as his short limbs did not quite reach the top of the candle. Because of this, and because of his fanatical attempts at jumping, Sammy looked like a very fat chipmunk on crack.

As he finished his task, he stood back and admired his work. Perfection. Huffing and puffing, he scrambled back up to his throne. As soon as he reached it, however, he was given another mission. When he learned what his mission was, Sammy’s mood immediately dropped, and his body drooped. Oh boy. Not this mission. He sighed, and began. Like Spiderman, he crawled over the man’s face, a tissue in his left hand. With his right, while hanging over the ridge of the nose, he reached into the hole, dug around, and preceded to pull out the biggest, nastiest booger the kosher world had ever seen. He threw it disgustingly in the tissue. Reaching back in the hole, he scratched the spot where he pulled the monster out, and then crawled back up to his now not so appealing throne. He stood up, and stared at the tissue. Definitely not kosher.

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