Town of Fraser has some fun writing its mission statement
August 27, 2008
The Town of Fraser recently came up with this mission statement draft:
“The Town of Fraser Board of Trustees and Staff will endeavor to protect and enhance the health, safety, and welfare of all Fraser residents (especially us’ns), business owners, property owners and guests; and plow Byers Avenue first as we know the mayor resides there; make sure the grass is long and green to hide doggie presents; keep away from the railroad because it’s big and scary; provide a nice shady area to enjoy the park; do a sun dance when it’s rainy and do a rain dance when it’s too hot; allow on street parking the second of July 2017 for the full day; continue to allow water to run downhill within city limits; require all plants or trees to grow upwards or possibly outwards; recommend that all F/WP Officers wear giant mirrored shades and refer to motorists as either “Son” or “Ma’am”; attribute any success in a 5 mile radius to the “Fraser Bump” and any failure to the “Tabernash Slide”; paint flames on all loaders and lawnmowers; be nice to animals and bugs (except beetles); guarantee that the traffic lights will always turn red just before you approach; continue our groundbreaking work on bringing the alpenglow closer to town; nod sagely when asked questions we don’t know the answer to; ensure that dumb looks are always free; put signs on dumpsters that state clearly “No Bears ” this means you!”; pass legislation that will give the moose an equal vote (the two legged one at least); and designate the Crooked Creek Saloon as the alternate Town Hall … just because we can.”
However, they later adopted this mission statement instead.
“The Fraser Town Board and staff will work to preserve, protect and enhance the health, safety, and welfare of Fraser residents and businesses.
And this Values Statement: “In our goal to ensure a sustainable community, the Fraser Town Board and staff will emphasize our values of communication, fairness, privacy, patience, health and safety, humor and trust.”
The board came up with the joke mission statement while adopting the real one, says Fraser Manager Jeff Durbin.
“(The Board of Trustees) have a pretty good sense of humor,” he said.
The board collaboratively wrote the statement this summer.
“As we were talking about it somebody made some sort of a little joke,” Durbin said.
That led to the creation of a “really off the wall kind of mission statement,” he said, adding that they wanted to see if anyone noticed.
“We just wanted to clean it up a little bit,” Durbin said, about the mission statement adopted Aug. 6. “I think it’s a good mission statement. That’s really why we exist as a town. You know, we’re not here to solve all the world’s problems … That boils it right down to why we do this.”
Town of Fraser Goals
– Provide public services and safety
– Preserve, enhance, and promote community values
– Improve our partnership with the business community
– Refine and Implement growth management goals and strategies
– Ensure environment security, economic sustainability, and social well-being.