de Vos: I love Grand County reason #288 |

de Vos: I love Grand County reason #288

Jon DeVos
Staff Photo |

“See, in my humble opinion, folks, if you believe in God, then intellectually you cannot believe in man-made global warming.” This particular nugget of profundity came from the lips of Rush Limbaugh, as always, displaying the insightful, clear-thinking of a chipmunk.

Climate-deniers, like Rush, face one fundamental problem: facts are undeniable. Otherwise they’re not facts, just opinions or lies. Nowadays the facts behind global warming are pretty much settled, unless of course, you happen to be the leading Republican presidential candidate.

Right after 195 nations signed on at the Paris Energy Summit, Donald Trump announced that global warming was a Chinese hoax being foisted upon unsuspecting Americans by a certain Kenyan Muslim who got elected twice by not disclosing he was black.

The Party of No tried to reframe the argument from ‘global-warming isn’t happening’ to ‘we don’t have to worry’ with the Koch money shouting that any problems caused by coal were too far down the road to be considered ‘our’ problems. America need not worry because the future’s a-long-time-coming and tomorrow’s no concern because it’ll never get here. No reason at all to panic because the one-percenters still have plenty of time to fortify castles on high ground. It’ll be like the Good Old Days.

Even the Climate-postponers got a seismic shake last month when a bunch of serious scientists bobbed their goatees in agreement that they may have understated the impact of human-caused global warming. New findings indicate that children born today may see doom and destruction beyond Hollywood’s wildest computer graphics.

In Grand County, you can watch a lot of melting ice. It decays and gets softer as it warms; it melts around the edges; it thaws faster on a dark background and it melts from the underside, settling with a crack when you step on it.

So it should be no surprise that quietly and unnoticed, warming ocean temperatures have been melting the undersides of the Antarctic Peninsula where floating ice shelves the size of Texas have started crumbling and collapsing into the sea.

The peninsula is a barrier between the ocean and the Antarctic glaciers, the largest deposit of fresh water in the world. An ocean temperature rise of 4.5 degrees Fahrenheit since 1950 is causing that barrier to melt away. Newly exposed to the warmer salt water, thawing glaciers could raise ocean levels up to six feet by 2100, just in time for your great-grandkids. Starting then, however, it only gets worse, rising a foot per decade for several centuries, topping out somewhere about 60 feet higher than today.

That would cause the relocation of 125 million Americans and 3 billion people around the world, as coastal communities slowly submerge and emigrants retreat to higher ground. The current immigration problem, as desperate and pathetic as it may be, is merely an odor of the main course to come.

Lucky for us, this insanity is a messed-up whacko-nut-job conspiracy theory, right?

Well, actually no. Two independent studies each arrived at the same conclusion last month. One study was a collaborative effort between Penn State and the University of Massachusetts. The other was conducted over nine years by the National Snow and Ice Data Center. Both agree: an important window is rapidly closing on our ability to prevent another flood of “Biblical proportions”.

For exposing Obama’s Chinese Global-Warming Hoax, we all need to stand solidly behind Donald. As he takes a bow, let’s surprise him with a great big hand. Donald just loves a huge hand . . . huh? No! What?

I meant a big round of applause! Why ever would you think . . .

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