Jon de Vos: Strange bedfellows |

Jon de Vos: Strange bedfellows

Jon de Vos / The Friday Report
Grand County, CO Colorado

Good grief! In the number of years I’ve been writing this column, never have I got so much negative feedback as last week’s piece where I casually mentioned that I thought Michele Bachmann presented America’s best hope and future. Apparently lots of people were cheering me on at that point. Then I clarified that I meant Ms. Bachmann is the hope and the future of American stand-up comedy. That’s when people turned on me.

Sarah Palin herself is a comedic godsend who cannot decide if she is pit-bull or a mama grizzly. She abandoned her governorship midstream because the Alaska media were being so gol-durned mean to her. She’s obviously a thin-skinned mama grizzly. And despite liberal rumors, it couldn’t possibly be true that Tina Fey is actually Sarah Palin. Or vice-versa.

With the Republican debates looking more like a 3rd grade re-enactment of the Gunfight at the OK Corral, the Democrats are practicing their new 2012 re-election strategy: Be very, very quiet! Some of them are still breathing!

It used to be that if we didn’t like our elected officials, we just stabbed them and threw their lifeless corpse aside (See: Shakespeare). Nowadays we have all these rules.

We elect our officials in the hope, like Diogenes, of finding an honest man but then they betray us with their wide stances and ice-cube freezers full of hundred-dollar bills while we load our 16 tons and go deeper in debt.

Here’s some random quotes from and about our leaders:

– “A fool and his money are soon elected.”

Will Rogers

– “We’d all like to vote for the best man but he’s never a candidate.”

Kin Hubbard

– “It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.”

Dan Quayle

– “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.” Ronald Reagan

– “You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.”

Robin Williams

– “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.”

Groucho Marx

– “I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.”

Dan Quayle

– ”They misunderestimated me.”

President George W. Bush, Nov. 6, 2000

– ”The enemy isn’t conservatism. The enemy isn’t liberalism. The enemy is bulls**t.”

Lars-Erik Nelson, political columnist

– ”Politics, noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

– ”Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

Mark Twain

– ”The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then get elected and prove it.”

P.J. O’Rourke, ‘Parliament of Whores’

– “The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”

Will Rogers

Correction: A sharp-eyed reader pointed out that in last week’s column I said that FDR was not president during the Depression. I should have said he was not president at the 1929 stock market collapse that precipitated the Depression. FDR’s 12-year term from 1933 to 1945 certainly did overlap the Depression. I appreciate corrections and seldom cry over them.

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