Marianne Klancke: Worry – Love it or leave it
Sense of Community
Being blamed for undo stress and premature wrinkles, worry has been bad pressed for years. In this time of heightened worry, let’s examine this constantly maligned and misunderstood human activity and discover if we can apply a little common sense to our fretful thoughts.
Why do we worry? What can we do with our worry? Common advice for a worrier is “just don’t do it.” Sound familiar? Little support comes after that. Many of us then become closet worriers and will even worry about worrying. You would think we could have this worry-thing sorted out since we all are anxious to some degree about much of the same needs.
The why’s of worry are logical. Worry is the kissin’ cousin to fear. We are hardwired to have fear. Fear is related to the lack of and/or the loss of our basic physical, emotional, and mental needs. In the raw, fear is meant to be a “fight or flight” trigger for basic survival. More developed, fear can literally be conjured and contrived and then settle into constant worry.
Worry is the mental rehearsal of the things we fear. Along with basic worry about our next meal and the safety of our loved ones, we have deep needs around belonging, being valued, and obtaining personal fulfillment. We instinctively sense our needs, scholars study our fears, and persuaders exploit our worry.
No wonder we worry. Worry is skillfully cultivated and harvested by persuaders every minute, by every imaginable method and means. It is a rare comatose individual that will escape today’s worry-hypes of election rhetoric, holiday consumerism, and day-to-day living. For every provoked fear and stimulated need there is a calculated solution equating to someone else’s profit or power.
Worry is big business. Incessant messages of need are employed to convince us to do, vote, buy, think, or not to think. We are born and bred to worry, that’s a fact. So what can we do with our continual fear activity?
Original, pure fear is perfect by design and purpose. We would not have survived the beast-munching years if we did not have our instant fear system of awareness, assessment, and action. See beast, know beast, run from beast. Worry can be quite the perfect lifesaver, too. Consider this productive Worry-Alert structure.
First of all, worry is a superb wake up call. Are you stressing? Are you fussing over and over about the same concerns? Turn this sensation into need awareness. What are you worrying about – your job? This worry relates to your basic survival need. Are you anxious about your relationships? Love and/or rejection are on the line.
Everything, about which we fret, can be related to your basic needs. Think about it, study it.
Now that you are connected to your basic need, you can assess your situation. Is it real? From where did you get this idea that your need is lacking? Do you believe your source to be credible with no agendas of its own? What are your many possibilities of satisfying what it is you actually need if you truly need this thing at all?
Last in your Worry-Alert is action. Worry, like fear, will only resolve itself with action. Add problem-solving attention to your worry. Choose your best possible action and “fight or flight” your way to meeting your needs. A life coach would support you to take a hard look at your undisciplined worry.
What does Grand County worry about? Oh, let’s see…water, perhaps? I personally know someone who lays awake at night worrying about our water needs. If our water concern were put on Worry-Alert, it would look something like this.
Awareness. We are constantly sensing “lack and loss” about our water sources. Assessment. Is the lacking real, will the loss be of consequence? Do we have a real need or are we being purposely manipulated to feel fear for reasons not our own? What are our options? Action. We can recognize no need. We can take “flight” from the source of our fear, since moving is a possibility. Or, we can “fight”.
Let’s face it ” we all have needs which lead to worry. In fact, if the truth be told, my needs and worries are basically the same as yours. If we can separate the helpful from the hype-full, worry is a powerful tool that can alert, guide, and stimulate us into positive action.
Worry. Can’t leave it, so you might as well love it.
” Marianne Klancke is a certified professional coach and group development facilitator. What are your coaching questions or communication concerns? She welcomes any comments email@example.com.
Support Local Journalism
Support Local Journalism
The Sky-Hi News strives to deliver powerful stories that spark emotion and focus on the place we live.
Over the past year, contributions from readers like you helped to fund some of our most important reporting, including coverage of the East Troublesome Fire.
If you value local journalism, consider making a contribution to our newsroom in support of the work we do.
Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.
User Legend: Moderator Trusted User
Libraries are places of information. When most people think “library” they think of books. And while that is certainly true, our Grand County libraries not only consider what we have but what we do.